分不清

花了四天，一口氣看畢了新版鹿鼎記，只為金庸筆下的最愛─雙兒。每次都看完一本書一套電影，好有一段時間沒有辨法平靜下來，那是一種突如其來無法抵擋的鬱悶，襲擊心房。大概都是我分不清，分不清是愛上看何琢言還是雙兒；分不清是愛上Natalie Portman還是Mathida；分不清是愛上朱茵還是紫霞仙子。

正當我思緒錯亂時，幸好遇上一部好電影，American Beauty(港譯：美麗有罪。但電影跟有罪跟美麗都扯不上關係，而American Beauty是一種玫瑰花的品種，貫穿整部電影。)，於最後一幕，男主角Lester終於明白生存的美麗，但陰差陽錯地，比鄰居槍殺而死，他死後的獨白(可以參照2月3日Blog的內容)，最令我感動的是以下這一大句：I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday.

有點玄，意思像朋友說的重情而瀟脫，娘d講句就係不捨不得，但又要為著這東西得到過而感恩。(有冇高人指點一下，可以四字詞語解釋到出黎呢?)

算吧，分不清就分不清，看過人生的美麗這麼多，糊塗一下又如何，應該開心先係丫嘛。

但若然你當真認為我是愛上外表上的美麗，那麼你真的他媽的太太太太太了解我了。

美麗有罪VCD.. $20